Going Through Divorce? Here’s How To Find Calm in The Chaos

What does divorce mean? Transition, change, upheaval, uncertainty.  Sound familiar?

I know there’s a LOT of information and advice being presented these days. 

This one is simple but powerful; a quick 3 minute read with 3 takeaways so that you can reset your mind, reclaim control and do what you can to have a healthy divorce.

Especially when we live with difficult divorce choices, and also during times of transition and uncertainty (like the one we are all currently facing) it is more important than ever to pay attention to our habits because OUR HABITS COMBAT OUR CIRCUMSTANCES.

It’s time to check in with yourself… Whether you are handling child custody or co parenting after divorce, post-divorce finances, figuring out your divorce choices generally,  or navigating COVID-19, how are you managing with this time of transition?

(Tip: These prompts might help you answer that question…which category do you find yourself in?

A)   Are you putting your life on hold, hitting the pause button on everything, waiting for normal to return? 

(Note: If you’re taking this approach, you might be experiencing feelings of frustration, resentment, and lack of motivation) 

OR

B)   Are you looking to practice the habits that infuse peace, productivity, and fun despite the transition we’ve been faced with? 

The key to successfully navigating a life transition (whether it’s social distancing and living the reality of a world pandemic or navigating divorce, divorce court, and its aftermath); it’s HOW we show up for the process that makes all the difference. And…

It starts with an intentional choice.

Will you let the circumstance define you? Or will you intentionally make decisions and take action to move your life forward despite the situation? 

Living in this current chapter mirrors the way I successfully navigated my own divorce, as well as how I empower clients to intentionally take action; refusing to be defined by their situation (even if they’re dealing with a narcissist, they can instead focus on building a life they love.)

Here’s the Key: Habits Combat Circumstances.

Transitions can be heavy, they require a lot of energy (mentally, physically, and emotionally). So HOW do we keep ourselves healthy, mind, body, and soul? 

We infuse peace, productivity, and fun. 

And HOW do we do that?  Follow these three simple steps for a healthy divorce.  

How to Infuse Peace:

The science behind the benefits of ‘breathing’ is amazing. (reduced blood pressure, calmed nervous system,  decreases anxiety symptoms, increased stress relief, the list goes on and on)

So spend some time in silence. 

Carve out 10 minutes somewhere in your day; pray, meditate, read, sit in the stillness. (Yes, I realize that may have some of us closing the closet door and hiding out for 10 minutes to get some personal space, but hey we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do!).

Idea: Focus on your breath. Close your eyes. Inhale while counting to three, hold your breath for a two count, and then slowly exhale while counting to five. Repeat this five times. Repeat this five more times. 

How to Infuse Productivity:

Think about how you want to move your life forward. 

Maybe it’s your physical living space, maybe it’s an adjustment in your health/lifestyle, maybe it’s a professional change. What’s a 6-month goal that you can define? 

Idea: Do ONE thing every day that is in support of that 6-month goal. Move your life forward one step, one action, one day at a time. Make a commitment to yourself.

How to Infuse Fun:

What are the things that bring you joy? Make you laugh? Warrant a smile? 

Put something on your daily agenda that is FUN. 30 minutes. EVERY. DAY. 

Ideas: Yoga or an at-home workout, call a loved one, watch something that makes you laugh, read a book.

Here’s my last set of questions:

When “this” is all over with (be it the pandemic or the divorce):

1.   Who do you want to be ‘on the other side’ of this transition? 
2.   What habits do you want to have instilled that keep you healthy mind, body, and soul?
3.   What does your life look like, feel like?
4.   What have your changed, built, accomplished in your life?

Life keeps moving and this transition has created an opportunity. 

Will you intentionally take the opportunity to infuse peace, productivity, and fun in your life? That simple choice is yours.

Shannon McGorry is a Certified Professional Coach, specializing in individuals who are navigating one of the most critical crossroads in life; divorce and its aftermath. Expertise, Prioritization, and Accountability are the principles of her practice. Shannon’s passion is supporting clients through all aspects of the realities of divorce (processing the emotions, making decisions, preparing for interactions, and creating their future.) Shannon empowers her clients to make consistent intentional action in support of their future reality. She is certified through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching. She is available for private coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements via her website, http://www.lovestrengthandgrace.com. Contact her via her website for a complimentary strategy session.

P.S. Want more tools and resources to stay positive during a divorce? Download my Free Divorce Survive & Thrive Kit below!

With support and strength,

Includes a financial blueprint for divorce, a co-parenting guide, and the BEST strategies to help you stay positive and take care of yourself during divorce and beyond.